How to encourage someone

My wife often tells me that it’s not what I said, but how I say it, and I have tried to incorporate that wisdom in my work relationships.  We all may try to leave our personal life at home, or at least outside the door, but through the course of a 50 – 80 plus hour work week, which we spend in very close proximity to our partner, whatever problems anyone may be facing inevitably come to the surface.  The easy solution is to distance ourselves from people who are suffering, and truthfully, a film set may not be the best place to resolve personal issues.  However, I look at it as an opportunity to practice my ability to empathize with, and encourage another person.  Like so many things the starting point is to encourage yourself.  By whatever method you may employ, it is important to arrive to work (or anywhere else for that matter) in the highest life condition possible.  We should learn how to prepare ourselves to encounter any situation full of courage and enthusiasm, in other words with a positive attitude.

The WikiJob website stresses the importance of developing Interpersonal Skills to aid our advancement in the workplace.  “Almost all aspects of work involve communication.  Many jobs also involve collaboration and interaction with different types of people, and interpersonal skills are vital to make this happen”.  Although we must finish the set before the camera rolls, I believe that we can utilize our work hours for a higher purpose.  I like to find out where my partner is in their life, what they might be struggling with, and offer any suggestions that seem appropriate.  Samuel Hatton, in his Core Concepts podcast states “The more you can shine light on the unique abilities of others, bring life into conversation, and operate from a genuine place, the more positive a work environment you will find yourself.”  He stresses giving sincere compliments, not the obvious but something that you notice in the moment; and compliment that person to others when they are not around.  I sometimes ask my partner’s opinion on how to do something, even if I already know how I want it done.  Besides the potential benefit of learning a new technique, this approach allows the other person to feel valued, and opens a line of communication.

Ross McCammon, Articles Editor for GQ magazine, writing for Entrepreneur defines the difference between encouragement and motivation.  “Motivation doesn’t depend on circumstances.  Motivation is for people who are already inclined to succeed.”  But what about someone who has no idea what to do? Often, when a person voices their problems or frustrations it is because they are at a place from which they do not know how to continue.  We do not want to be the know-it-all who sounds like the answer is obvious, but we also need to be specific in our encouragement, if we think it will help.  People usually feel more sure of their direction if they participated in the creation of the plan. ‘What if ..,’ or ‘maybe you could try …’ is more involving than ‘You should …’. McCammon states “When you encourage, you don’t just change how people work.  You change the way they perceive their abilities.  Which changes their careers.  Which changes their lives.  Which is a really big deal”.  I want to be known as someone who can offer such encouragement.